Growing Up: Then & Now

Moms,

This one is for you today. Especially mommas with littles 5 and under.

Don’t you just have such a love/hate relationship with social media – Facebook ESPECIALLY??

On one hand, it makes sharing photos of your little/s with your family and friends super easy. (Click, click, click & post — Viola!) Oh and let’s not forget how wonderful and empowering it is to read other mommy blogs and hear that WE AREN’T ALONE in our struggles.

What? You can’t get your house dusted weekly still?? Who are you? You are like ME, sister. I mean, let’s be real, who even dusted weekly before having a baby anyways?? (Kudos to you if you managed to pull this off! Me? Not one of those super humans.)

Your little woke up from their nap and needed to eat right at the same moment your food arrived so you sat there feeding baby and mastering the art of one-handed eating? SAME momma.

Your little decided to throw a fit in the middle of your shopping, just wanting to be held and you did NOT apologize to other shoppers because it’s totally normal and happens sometimes? Go. You.

Or how’s about those super heart wrenching stories of littles getting sick and being hooked up to breathing machines, warning mothers about that nasty RSV stuff?? I pray that you, momma, haven’t had to experience this pain and never will. But we read these too, loving mommas who will sacrifice our own health, wealth, friendships and more to protect our babies. And when we read them, we are thankful for Facebook allowing us to share these stories with our families and friends – warning and educating them about the dangers of getting too close to our littles. We do this because we have made up our minds what is acceptable and not with our babies, and this feels like a loving reminder to others. ‘Hey, I don’t want this to happen to my little, and I know you don’t either – so let’s all practice safe habits around ALL babies and infants.”

And how many of you mothers are met with comments on Facebook on in person following a post like that?? (Raises both hands.)

Everything from the concerned:

“Oh wow, I’d never even heard of RSV. What is it?”

“We don’t want little _______ to get THAT!”

“How tragic of an illness. Those poor babies and mothers!”

to the smart-aleck or just down-right silly:

“Makes ya wonder how we all survived that stuff back in the day.”

“You know, I made it through – you made it. Your child will be just fine.”

“You just have to trust the Lord.”

We all appreciate the concerned, the ones who don’t question our parenting choices when it is in the best interest for our little. But is it just me, or do some of the smart-aleck comments get your blood boiling?? If it does, oh momma dear, you aren’t alone there either.

It’s comments like that which can quickly make us get so frustrated with social media! ha.

So let me take a moment to respond to those less-than-stellar remarks for all moms who feel the same as me.

Okay, Linda. ‘How we all survived’ is very misleading and factually FALSE. The infant and child mortality rate was much higher throughout history than it is today. All the way into the 90s when there was a major push to focus on baby, and getting the baby through their most vulnerable years. SIDS was just one focus of this. All these terrible sicknesses that you and I, with build up immune systems can easily fight, but that tiny humans cannot was another major focus.

And Dan, you’re right. You did make it through and so did I. Thank goodness because that’s the only way this conversation is possible. Or that I was able to birth this itty bitty human and bring new life into this crazy and beautiful world. BUT just because you and I made it, doesn’t automatically give my child the pass. You may not have been exposed to the bug. Maybe I wasn’t either. Maybe I was, but my mother was exposed first and because of this, her breastmilk sent me all the immunities I would need to fight it off successfully. Point is, why the heck would I just willy-nilly risk it? Risking it means oh cool, my child may not come into contact with the bug, despite being kissed and touched on by everyone and their brother’s mother – OR spending several days with my baby in ICU with tubes and IVs coursing through his little body.

And finally, the just trust the Lord, comments. I get why you think this is appropriate and loving, Debra – but REALLY?? This one may make my blood boil the most; partly because I DO trust the Lord. I wholly trust in Him. He saved my life on Jan 10, 2016 – in an event that has forever transformed my life. I read scripture every day with my tiny human, we pray together, we go to church together and I even walk him through my journal writing (even though at this point he has no clue what I am talking about). I still find it THAT important. What I really don’t understand about a comment like this, is it feels like the person telling me this is

  1. Saying I do not trust in the Lord.
  2. I should throw out all wisdom and knowledge and simply and ONLY trust in the Lord.
  3. My own understanding of caring for my child is foolish and the real way to raise a kid is to let them and others do whatever – and JUST trust in the Lord.

So yes, I will trust in the Lord. BUT I will also trust in my motherly knowledge instilled in me through this amazing God AND I will trust in the wisdom he has imparted in me. I will use the discernment He tells me to tap into when navigating this world.

So mommas, keep doing YOU. Keep sharing what you want about how you choose to raise your little. It is your right and your gift as a mom. Wear that badge of honor with pride. And if someone tries to lovingly comment with one of these remarks, go ahead and drop the link to this post back at them. Let them do a little reading to see why you don’t have time for those remarks. They can raise their babies how they wish – and YOU have your own power to decide how to raise yours.

Cheers to you mommas.

P.S. names above are fabricated and not tied to any person who may have made one of these remarks to me. 🙂 PROMISE!

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